Lessons in leaf lifting!

So, I’ve been going through what can be affectionately called a lonely, dry spell. It has lasted for quit a while now. At times, I’m fine, it’s the other times that are hard.

I know I’m the beloved. I really do. I also don’t know it, or maybe it’s more like I don’t recognize it during these times. It’s like when you walk into a forest and you become aware you’re not alone… There’s something out there even if you can’t see it with your eyes you sense it with your spirit. That’s how I feel right now.

I know that I know…sigh

During my time with my spiritual director, I shared this story.

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Remember this? The thing is covered with yellow flowers! I mean all over the place! It’s August, I should be knee-deep in cucumbers. I got a few, they taste good, they have a great shape, I just ain’t getting enough to have a mess so I can go to the trouble of making pickles! I had such plan’s…pickle empire and such. We have been putting time water and sweat into this thing! 2-4 5 gallon buckets of water with measured out nutrients a day. I even put the umbrella up for it in the hot part of the afternoon! 

Yesterday, I was checking it out for fruit. I have to be careful where I put my feet or smashed vines will be everywhere. As I looked I saw nothing, just like me life! This whole pickle empire was a work in futility. There is nothing out here. I lifted a vine to check under it and lo and behold, there was a nice one! Oh Wow!! That’s 2! Setting the world on fire now! Looking down, I see the plant really is pretty, covered in flowers, with no fruit! I get mad all over again. But I keep looking. I lift a leaf, there’s one, and there’s one hiding. The next thing I know I have enough for a mess….I can do pickles!!! 

Not until the next day in my retelling of the story did it hit me. Isn’t that just like God, to show Himself that way.

When we walk into the forest, He’s there. He’s always been there, waiting.

When you start looking for fruit in your life, it can be hard to find. We spend all this time and money trying to be who we were called to be.  The flowers of possibilities are all over the place! We just can’t see the fruit. Take heart, sometimes you have to look under the leaves.

God has not forgotten me and He for sure hasn’t forgotten you! It’s hard being in lonely, dry places! Mainly because it’s lonely and dry! He has put a lot into us, His time and energy and Son. The least we can do is look under the leaves for the fruit!

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Thought? Did God show you something different in the telling of the story?

Peace

 

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It’s Hot

I’m in and out of stores all day long. One of the things we all comment on is how hot it is. It’s probably the safest thing to talk about now a-days, but if you know me, it’s just how I get a conversation started.

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Me: Dang! It’s hot.

Dairy Dude: It is. (pause) I never complain about how hot it is anymore.

Me: Oh? Why is that?

DD: Moved here from Arizona…it’s ALWAYS hot there. So I don’t complain about how hot it is here.

Me: We do choose to live here don’t we? If we didn’t like it, we’d move right?

DD: Maybe. Or we’d just bitch about it.

That’s how I’m feeling right now, in a nut shell, about our country. We’re just bitchen’ about it. It makes me hot and tired! We all need to be more like Dairy Dude and just stop complaining.

I have no idea what to do about it. Telling people to shut up hasn’t gotten me very far. Sharing stuff on FB with my friends is well…pointless. I’m thinking about protesting, but it’s just too hot!

So, here’s what I have been doing. Smiling! A Lot!

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It’s freaking people out! One of the Coke dudes went home and told his wife about me. “It’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen! She is Always in a great mood and she has the biggest smile on her face all the time. I don’t know if I trust her, but I like being around her.”

There it is people! That’s what I’m doing about it. It’s a start. What are you doing?

Bitchen’ about how hot it is?

How does your garden grow?

IMG_7273 Here’s Preacher man laying his hand on the cucumber mass, bush, I don’t even know what to call it!

Below is how it started.

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My friend that can kill anything from the plant kingdom had this beauty and is letting me use it to see how pickles will taste from a tower garden. I have heard that tomatoes don’t taste like tomatoes from the garden, more like they are from the store. I’ve gotten some of the hydroponic maters before and they are not what I’m craving when I’m wanting a BLT! However green leafy stuff is said to be amazingly good! So… cucumber is what I’m trying.

Things that I’ve learned from this planting exercise.

  1. 2 seeds are plenty. Do not put in 3, that is over kill!
  2. Powdery Mildew does not care what I am trying to do here, and will come a calling when it’s humid, hot, and the air flow is not flowing. It happens a lot when your plants get watered from above, aka, rain.
  3. It’s surprisingly easy. The hardest part is checking the water and adding daily.

The creepy thing now is it reminds me of the plant in Little Shop of Horror’s, Audrey II.

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Right?!?

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I picked this at lunch time today….

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I didn’t even bother to peel it. Looks like a cuke, smells like a cuke….

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Taste like a cuke!!!!

If I do this right, might be the year I make some pickles!

You got to see it here first, how my pickle empire was started.

More to come!

 

Amazing Grace!

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I will never forget the day she showed up at the soup kitchen in a backpack. She was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, but by the size of her paws, she wouldn’t be small for long. She did not disappoint.

We walked Gracie Mae down the Rainbow Bridge on June 14th. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. I am even more amazed at Preacher man for being able to be there to the very end with all our other animals.

I’m not going to go into our experience, because it was not good. What I want to share is what I learned from Grace.

Play! It’s important in every area of your life! If you need balls and sticks, then by all means get them, but play!

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Water is important! You must drink it, swim in it, walk through it, sit on it if it’s frozen, and have someone throw it at you if it’s snow!

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Gracie showed me that you only have this one chance at life. There’s no sense in doing it safe, play with focused abandonment! It did not matter that she had blown her knee out three different times, that was her ball and you needed to throw it! Now!

They come into our lives for such a short time. They bring excess joy, then there is a huge hole when they’re gone. If you’ve had a pet, you know this hole that I speak of… no words are needed.

I miss my Amazing Grace!

I got this?

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am IMG_6703going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Thomas Merton – Thoughts in Solitude

I keep coming across this little ditty written by Merton, probably because it sits on my desk! It seems to be timeless for me, no matter what I’m going through or not going through, this speaks to me at all different points in my life.

At point’s in my life, I think I really did know where I was going and what I was doing. It seemed to be in the cards so to speak. However, after the proverbial apple cart went off track, I find that these words from Merton bring comfort. Some word groups that stand out to me…

Lord God, I have no idea, I don’t see, I cannot know. BUT I believe,I hope, I know, therefore I will not fear.  – Kim

When we ride the crest of the wave, it’s smooth and fast and awesome! Everything we touch is meant to be touched, and the wind feels so good against our skin. We have a look about us that commands others to ask, “what is it about them?”

All rides must come to an end. It’s a sad truth written somewhere I’m sure. When it happens, its earth shattering, well it shatters our little piece of earth anyway. We find ourselves in a strange place because our daily routine is gone, our sense of purpose is broken, and our ability to think and make decisions is way out of whack.

It takes time to stop spinning. We think we’re ready to put our feet back on the ground, but the floor keeps moving! We go to grab our boot straps to pull ourselves up by, but find we have no boots. We stick our arms out with fingers spread wide to try to grab a hold of whatever is going by, to slow us down.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me

That’s what I hold onto.

It’s really all there is.

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Friday Night Lights!

When Daddy was stationed in Hawaii, my sister and I got the opportunity to learn to ride horses. It was English saddle, so no horn to hold onto. Cute outfits with beautiful riding boots and cool hats with little whips. Even if the cute outfit part never happened, we did learn to ride.

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Jump ahead years, Preacher man and I were dating and went to a rodeo. That was when I figured out I was allergic to horses. My lungs shut down, can’t take in a full breath, sneezing and flat-out feeling like death was surly close at hand.

This is why I have stayed away from horses and horse activities, I try to die!

Few more years, we’re living in the huge state of Texas, it’s time for the Fort Worth Rodeo, so we go. Again, lungs shut down, the whole 9 yards.

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J, horse friend and nurse

Now, when you live in Texas, you either have a horse or you have horse friends. I have the later. Horse people do not understand non horse people and I’m ok with that. However, I have this one horse friend who is also a nurse in real life and she asked me a question that I slapped my forehead when asked. “Why don’t you take some Benadryl and bring your inhaler?”

Right?!

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So I did… I was able to stay in the arena for 2 hours.

I feel like I have arrived! I’m in Texas and can try to embrace the culture!

So Preacher man and I went to watch sorting. There are 10 calf’s that have numbers on their backs. The caller picks a number, 4, and two riders have to move the cows from one side to the other, one at a time, in order!  So 4, then 5, up to 9 then 0 and up to 4.

The part’s I love… It’s free and you can bring a cooler. The people aren’t uppity, nor do they treat you like dirt cuz you’re not on a horse. Kids are playing farm in the dirt, there are bathrooms, and a few cowboy hats but more ball caps.

All in all a good time! The best part way being able to pet the horses without falling out dead!

Texas….Your growing on me!