When Dee and I were little, there was a door frame in the house that had marks on it, or was it a wall? Anyway, mom would stand us up and put a mark on the wall where the top of our head came to. Ever so many months, she would do it again. When you stood back, it looked like a lot of lines on a wall, but we knew this was where we would go to see how much we had grown.
I also remember, first lost tooth, first bedroom all by myself, and turning into a teenagers. These are milestones, significant events or stages in life. These happen all through our life at different times and they almost feel like places where we can come to rest and remember.
My sister from another mister wisely told me that we would be looking at milestones a little differently now, we just needed to get to the next one. The first one we had to get to was the month after the accident, June 19th. The second one was the 4th of July. In between, you may have had a birthday or a graduation or a wedding. I told Maximus on his birthday that I hoped he rejoiced at the land mark he had just reached. I didn’t mean rejoice, as in be happy, I meant more like rejoice, you lived through it. It was a milestone that had been reached without Sylvia.
We will get through this, it’s not going to be pretty, enjoyable, convenient, or easy, but we will come out the other side. I believe one of the key’s to going through these milestones might simply to be gentle with yourself. To allow the tears to come and to just sit with the rush of emotion. We’ll have to surrender to it sooner or later, so just breath.
In my head, I have some of these milestone chiseled out, and some, I’m sure will just hit me like a freight train without me even thinking about them or taking notice of them until it’s too late. When these moments in time happen and we live through it, take time to rest and remember.
We all have grown since May 19th… it hasn’t been real graceful or pretty, but we made it through. We are starting to see the lines on the wall that let us know how much we’ve grown.