Compassion

IMG_1933I want to tell you a little bit about my experience of compassion given and mercy received, and it happened today.

It was really hard-driving the 25 minutes to work. I had the radio rockin’, coffee in hand and still there was this shaking inside of me that I couldn’t calm. What was my deal? So I just prayed for courage, and I asked for that peace that passes all understanding, whatever that is.

I went to the punch clock, clocked in and looked into the room to my left. There she sat! We hadn’t made eye contact in months, let a long said a word to each other. I thought, “Why are we doing this?” I walked over, laid my hand on her shoulder, and these words came out of my mouth…”Life is too short….please forgive me.”

She had seen me, right after I got the call from Dee. I stumbled through the door’s, calling for the only Rock I knew at work. But she was there, and I saw her put her hands to her mouth and shake her head in disbelief. She saw me that day. She saw and heard my pain.

She stood up, waved her hands around and with tears in her eyes, threw her arms around me and we asked each other for forgiveness. It was amazingly freeing. She withdrew from me and heard me at arm’s length. “Look at God!” she said.

So stepping out is hard to do, do it anyway! I showed compassion and mercy was given to me. Let me tell you, I was in a huge place of needing me some mercy today and didn’t even know it, but God knew.

We will be able to show others compassion because of where we are walking right this very moment.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Peace Out!

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Grateful!

Pat told me to think about getting a notebook. That could only mean one thing, I’d have to write!

So here’s what I’m thinking, I’m going to write about my journey through grief here. That’s the spoiler for you. My twist is I’m searching for wholeness and healing, not just getting through it, but coming out the other side better because of it! I want to come out of the furnace all shiny! 

I’m not going to promise anything but the truth as I see it. It may not be pretty but I don’t care, I’m doing this for my sanity. So here I go….

I’m full of gratitude today. Last week there were people to call, things to line out, groups of people who needed information that I could get my hands on. This week, it’s pretty silent. So I reached out to that group of people that were my support line for a few short and intense day’s. That’s when I started to become grateful.

I’m grateful that there are people out there that hurt like I hurt, the words can be few or 2 hour-long conversations, but we share an indescribable pain. Everyone thinks their pain is the worse until they talk to someone else and it becomes clear that we all just plain hurt.

I’m grateful for KFC! What has happened to the South?? Use to be that when someone passed, there was enough comfort food brought to the family to feed the town. When did that stop happening and why didn’t someone ask me?!! My sister from another mother, and her husband brought Preacher man and I a bucket of chicken with all the fixing.

Today, I’m grateful for people who provide comfort without even knowing it. I now have a mess of folks calling me “Aunt Kim”. I’m shocked at how much comfort that brings!

I’m also grateful for space. Not too much space that I start getting lonely, but just enough space to start to Be Again. We will never be the same. But we weren’t going to be the same since the beginning anyway! Right?!? Something happens most day’s and it changes us. This tragedy is just bigger than what we’re use to on any given day, but it also has the potential to make us better.

So there it is.

Thoughts? Comments? First and last time you’ll be stopping by here? I encourage you to keep coming back, we both may learn something that helps us heal.

Peace Out!

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