Sadness that follows…

I follow a blogger named Brandy and today I read her Christmas post titled ” I survived Christmas.” I feel that way. I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it, but there is a sadness that follows me. I know you know what I mean, cuz I’m betting I’m putting words to how you feel. We did the best we could with decorating the house, preparing the snacks, wearing  the colors, and speaking the words. I am incredibly thankful for God’s mercy, in sending us His son to save us from ourselves! But y’all, this was the first Christmas without her!

So I feel like the wound was healing nicely, it’s still huge and red and tender, but there is a scab and it’s workable. I bumped up against Christmas, the healing scab got stuck on the Christmas tree, was ripped off and now the wound is exposed again!!!!!!! REALLY?!? On top of that, my sweet sister gave me the same Kendra Scott set that Sylvia had….

So today is hard. Preacher man went back to work, I’m still sitting here drinking coffee and trying to put words to the feelings I’m having. I don’t want to be afraid to remember her!

Sylvia gave me a shirt last year that says “Grace upon Grace. John 1:16”. What comes to mind is the ocean surf – one wave coming after another in endless succession. The way I see it, you gotta get into the ocean in order to feel the waves… Come Holy Spirit!

We can’t always be happy, but a rod of joy should run down our backbone! God has an endless amount of ways to bless us, if we but have eyes to see, ears to hear, and an open heart to receive.

So be encouraged, when you back off and look at the sadness that follows, just keep stepping back, see how all of it rests in God’s hand? I do, I’m in God’s hand, with the sadness… God’s got this!

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