I find myself staring, not at anything specific, I just stare. So I look pretty calm on the outside, almost like I’ve got it all figured out!
At times my mind races so fast with memories, it’s hard to keep up!
There are still things that happen that are 100% made to be shared with Sylvia, but where do we go with that? Do we get in the car and drive real far? Do we sing as loud as we can those songs that we shared? Take a run? Lift some crazy amount of weight? Stare?
So this is what I know; facts don’t change, attitudes can! Sylvia is gone from our sight, beyond the veil, perfect! That is fact. The attitude I choose, can change, and should change as time goes by.
This “grief stage” is going to last my whole life, and it’s just going to get more full with people who have made life with me! That is fact. The attitude I choose, can and should change.
We are fast approaching the 1 year mark, our next Landmark on this journey. That is fact. The attitude I choose…..
So everyday, I choose the attitude of expected joy! Is it easy, you may ask? Hell no! I answer. But my attitude isn’t a fact yet!
Expected joy comes from living with the future in view. From knowing I will see, not only Sylvia, but all the people from my “grief stages”, all hanging out together with Jesus! (Hands to nose, fingers wiggle, “EEEEEEEEEE!)
Does that not give you Joy?!? Does that not make you want to give them all a spiritual “High 5”?
Be encouraged! You are not alone! Breath!!