So, have I told you what I do now? For a paycheck? It’s not who I am, or what I aspired to be. It’s what I do for a paycheck. I merchandise…I put stuff in its place and make it neat and organized so you as a customer want to buy it. That’s what they tell me but in truth, I do stuff that the store’s don’t want to be bothered with, or that their people can’t be trusted to do right or even do at all.
On the food chain of a store, we are right above the folks that clean the parking lots in the dead of night, or at least this is how it feels someplace’s. This isn’t an easy place to be when you are high energy, gregarious, and simply loud and funny. But this is where I find myself, with my degrees and certifications, putting magazines where they belong and sticking coupons on “I can’t believe it’s not butter.”
My soul screams out for day’s of listening to the birds come awake in a dawn of the morning, and not having to rush away somewhere. I yearn to be at the Abby of Gethsemane with soul friends in silent retreat. I want to know what happened!
That however, is not my lot in life, anymore anyway. So now I take what I know and what I’ve learned and I try to put it to use. I listen to the people in the back room as they start their day. I over hear your conversations as you stand in line with your children, or your husband or just by yourself.
I, for some reason, look like I work at every store I service, so people are forever coming up to me and asking me where the batteries are or if I could get someone to help them in jewelry or if we carry oil for vacuum pumps.
Here’s what I’m thinking. People always need help with something. Sometimes it’s with location of product, but sometimes it’s to just to be heard.
A lady picked up a magazine with a picture of a beautiful blue hydrangea on it. “That’s a gorgeous color!” I say in passing. “It was my mother’s favorite…” and I find that the Holy Spirit grabs a hold of my shoulder and slows me down to a stop.
My lesson: God is still using me, it just doesn’t look like it use to or how I thought it would look. I’m seeing that when God takes the time to fine tune you, he really does want to hear what sound you’ll make when plucked. So I encourage you to take the time.